Consideration for the rights and feelings of others is not merely a rule for behavior in public but the very foundation upon which social life is built.
Emily Post
Speaking another language than your native language gives you an advantage in life. And the essential aspect is that you can communicate and interact with other people from all around the world.
We live in a multicultural society, and when we meet people that speak our native language than we naturally start talking in that language. We feel that we can communicate better, and we can quickly create a conversation. But when other people around you can’t understand, then you should consider speaking the language that all the people use.
I experienced, on the first hand, coming from another country, the frustration of not understanding what other people are talking. Not because I didn’t speak English but because I couldn’t understand the Southern accent. But can you imagine how a person may feel when do not speak that language at all?
Avoid speaking a foreign language in front of others. Speaking a foreign language can create a perception of exclusivism, and usually, people become suspicious and irritated when they don’t understand.
Try to put yourself in the other person’s shoes and see how you would feel.
Use common sense and always remember the three qualities that stand behind all the social manners, as Emily Post very well pointed out:
- show CONSIDERATION for people around you and make them feel inclusive, not exclusive
- show RESPECT by using the language that everybody else can understand
- show HONESTY by not hiding behind words but using words as a bridge to communication.
Frequently Asked Questions
Is it rude to speak a foreign language in front of people who do not understand it?
Yes, it is best avoided; speaking a language others cannot understand can create a perception of exclusivism, and people usually become suspicious and irritated when they cannot follow the conversation. When others around you cannot understand, consider speaking the language everyone uses.
Why do we naturally switch to our native language with fellow speakers?
When we meet people who share our native language, we naturally start speaking it because we feel we can communicate better and create conversation more quickly. The courtesy lies in resisting that impulse when others present would be excluded.
What etiquette principles apply when choosing which language to speak?
Following Emily Post's foundation of social manners: show consideration for the people around you by making them feel included, show respect by using the language everyone can understand, and show honesty by using words as a bridge to communication rather than hiding behind them. Put yourself in the other person's shoes and imagine how you would feel.
What does it feel like to be excluded by language?
It is genuinely frustrating; even someone who speaks the local language can struggle, as the author experienced with the Southern accent after arriving from another country. Imagine, then, how a person feels when they do not speak the language at all.